its been so long since i could spare few minutes typing a short post. life's been busy, loaded up with assignments. been having group meetings til late nights, for many nights, and working overnight is not uncommon.
many things had also happened, but i hadnt had time to blog bout them. one of them is the death of Humpty the hamster. thinking of it reminds me of the horrible horrible sense of loss the night he died. i can still see the image clearly how he was suffocating for air, how limb he felt, and how he took his last breath with his eyes wide open. oh man. i knew i was a wreck the whole night, crying as if the world had come to an end. i hate that feeling of loss...i dun ever wanna think of anybody close to me leaving my side...
i blamed myself for not feeding my hamsters properly, not changing their bedding regularly, and not aware that their water supply has ran out. i also blamed myself for keeping them isolated and lonely and bored in their small tiny cage. now Humpty is properly buried, with a nice tombstone with his name and date of death written on it. i've also got 2 new baby hamsters to accompany poor old Dumpty. and most importantly, i am aware that Dumpty is already an old hamster, and his time may come anytime soon. i am prepared for the worse, and i am making sure he lives his current life to the fullest
besides that, something else had occurred in my life. a huge drastic change actually. and i dun feel like talking bout it...
oh ya, also another event which left me crying like shit...haha...this too is too embarrassing/annoying/pissing to be told, so there...
Dear had left for business trip to India last tuesday. yes, again. haha the usual annual trips, im so used to it now. of cos i miss him so so much...and realizing how lucky i am to have him now that he is so far away. good thing he is away during the peak busyness period, so assignments can keep me sane, or else i would be super lonely. already my bf isnt with me in college, now he isnt with me in M'sia. wah...i seriously wonder how will my social circle be if i actually dont have Dear. im not one who would easily go out and make new friends. i also feel super self conscious when being a lamp post, even when i know my friends do not mind. yet i really need a few people i can closely connect and share my life. hmmm...
ok ok, i was feeling peaceful awhile ago. lets not stop that feeling. try listening to Emmy Rossum's Slow Me Down ppl...i find it so so soothing... also am addicted to watching the music clip for Taylor Swift's Teardrops on my Guitar. so heart breaking!!!
ok i need to get back to work. so cant wait to finish up my last few assignments. oh crap...my aircon rosak....sigh one whole week living with open window and table fan!!!
^o^
-sel-
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