An unknown force kept pushing me
It had been pushing me since the day that I could walk
It pushed me to learn my ABC
It pushed me to be sweet and polite to my teachers
It pushed me to score straight A’s throughout primary and secondary school
It pushed me to plan my entire life since I entered my teens
It pushed me to earn a scholarship; it pushed me to graduate with 1st Class honors
But it wasn’t entirely a good force
It indirectly made me the teacher’s pet
It made me scorned and jeered by peers
It made me self-conscious about what I say, how I act, where I go
It holds me by its reign, an invisible string call GUILT
This force is so strong I may be bound til the end of my life
When Dear spoke about this unknown force, the label was so simple
“Self Pressure”
It was plainly a self-inflicted pressure that I place on myself, monitored by my conscience, aiming for an impossible goal
Labeling is the easy part. Trying to get rid of it is the tough part
Perhaps it was this unknown pressure that Dear and I share tremendously in common
Sometimes I wonder,
One day, when I fail to reach the extremely high goal that I had set for myself,
Will I actually be able to crawl and stand up again? After all these years of striving for perfection, will I be able to survive a downfall? Perhaps it is this fear of failure that fuels this unknown force and drives me harder towards perfection
4 comments:
*sits in the corner with dear and wonder why we put ourselves through this...*
You know, you ain't alone. But being aware of this, you know that if you ever fall, many of us will be there to catch you and bring you up again.
Most importantly, you know where you stand, how you got there, and be prepared for anything coming.
TAKE CARE !!!
{Sam} Hey...thats a very positive way to see things. Better be aware than be ignorant, better to expect a fall than not see it coming. Thanks a lot Sam~!
{EVo} Hunny...I'll be there for u if u fall...just make sure we don't fall together gether ok? *muakz*
See, that's the thing about being humans: we are strong, but we don't realise we have that strength within us cos we just keep pushing and being overly cautious.
But when we do fall, you might be surprised to find that you actually can pick yourself up, clean the wounds and continue walking while it heals. Besides, there are always people who will try to catch you or at least help you up - they're called friends.
So don't worry so much...we're all here for you
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