bratty me

today i found out how spoilt and pampered i am. dear told me he had to cancel our date this friday because he had to go company outstation trip, and immediately this internal conflict fought within me:

Spoilt me: how can he cancel our date? how could he? im so angry! he could have just told his dad he had already taken leave. he promised me first!

Understanding me: but he's working in dad's company now...own company surely gotta sacrifice personal interest. client wanna meet on friday, nothing they both can do mar.

*received Dear's sms, saying sorry and sounding very sorry*

Spoilt me: im not gonna reply his sms! not gonna answer his call if he did call. let him know how much he had hurt me!

Understanding me: i shouldnt make him feel worse than he already is. i know he doesnt mean it. i know he feels worse than me. i should try to console him, telling him its ok, and not let him know i am feeling the pinch inside

despite all this internal conflict inside me, when Dear called, i just didnt feel like talking. the more we talk the more my spoilt and pampered side will have a chance of winning. the best option is to keep quiet, or else i'll go hysterical.

our date wasnt even canceled. it is postpone to next fri. it's actually to celebrate our 4th month anniversary. we were planning to watch "high school musical" the DVD Dear gave me 2 months ago. then i'll get to show Dear my ex high school when we collect my SPM cert. i have something for Dear. i planned somewhere to go after school. its gonna be a surprise. the surprise will just have to wait another 9 freaking long days. i know very well this is such a small matter. i really dun understand why im making such a big fuss over it. i dun understand why im so emotional after receiving his news. well, nothing makes sense when you're in love...only fools fall in love...there...perhaps those are my answers...