i wouldnt say one year has come and go so fast, because 2006 did seemed to be a pretty long year. thats because so many things happened this year, it didnt blurly fly by with routine activities every day. in fact, i can say that this year had given me many, many new experiences. so much i've learnt that it seemed too much to happen within a year.
2006 started off with me officially being a psychology student. FINALLY i am studying the course i've been dreaming of since i was 15. so glad the pathway i've planned for myself came true. so happy i've overcame all the obstacles i.e. dad's objection towards this field, dad's doubt of me staying interested in this field for long, dad's hesitation in me paying thousands of ringgit to study Foundation in a private institute instead of studying Form 6. i guess mostly i have to give myself a pat on my back for sticking true to my interest and working hard to get my way. if i hadnt work my ass off during SPM Trials, i wouldnt have gotten a forecasted straight A1's, then i wouldnt have gotten full scholarship to study Foundation. luckily i was also in UBS, which allowed me to be in good terms with school counselor, who frequently update me on scholarship opportunities. well, everything fell into place, and im finally a first-year degree, Psychology student! ^_^
this year started off with me forming new friendships with my young neighbors. i remember twice a week i would go for CNY dance practice at night. quite frequently i would go over to Steph's house to have girlie chitchat, together with Shaz and Danie. gradually Steph got too busy, and i felt uncomfortable hanging out with Shaz, Danie and Nadia, so i also distant myself. however, my family, the Poon's and the Ooi's gotten close. EV and I were sms-ing very frequently. to me, i feel glad i could connect with my neighbors. but someone found it to be a threat. this year many fights erupted, simply because he couldnt accept the fact that i enjoy socializing with such great neighbors.
in February, Prab's bro got married. i had the chance to dress up in sari! then in march, few days before my birthday, Praba left to study medicine in India. damn sad as i send her off in the airport...she is one friend i've always looked for whenever i need wise advices, and she's the first to leave me. classes went on...psychology subjects were VERY INTERESTING! but alot of hard work and constant reading too. i felt that every single day was very satisfying...studying interesting subjects on weekdays, slotting in to meet old school friends on occasional weekends, and having familes dinners (i.e. the 3 LM families) on weekends.
first semester ended, and i went to Pulau Kapas with neighbors. someone totally spoilt my mood during the vacation, but it was also during that trip that made me make up my mind. i finally overcame my confusion, and finally see through that its not worth it to change my personality and drop my interests just because someone often feel insecure with my passion for socializing. i cried myself to sleep on the first night, but i also made up my mind, and the next 2days, i never felt any freer as i totally pushed him out of my mind and imagine life as an unattached girl. man...the feeling was G-R-E-A-T! i never realised how suffocated i had felt til i experience the other side of life.
when i came back, i was quite mentally set to end things. but we still try to patch things up. hell i actually tried smoking too, just to accept this smoking habit. yep, that was how much i was willing to change myself then. most people know how much i despise smokers. i almost turned into one ok...but no...the most i smoked was 3 sticks. that's all in my entire 19 years of life. but well, in June, everything was over. those few weeks was a living hell. i cried to sleep almost every night, i had no appetite to eat, and listening to any songs on the radio can make me sing along one minute, then crying the very next second. i only love the times i had in college. kel and nat tried to keep me occupied. we would go to Old Town Kopitiam for breakfast, they trying to advice me. we hang out so often that over a crisis, we formed a very strong sisterhood bond. when im home, i had EV to support me. on weekends, he would take me out to keep my mind off things...going SPCA, watch movie, shopping, etc. he would always pop little cards and presents in my mailbox in the mornings before driving to work.
but i began to feel uneasy with the way EV was treating me. he was being TOO NICE it felt pushy. everyone said he obviously liked me, but i refuse to believe it til i hear it from his mouth. i kept denying it, so i felt annoyed that he tried too hard to please me. but overtime, i understood that he just wants me to be happy. he also knows that i am not in any situation jump into a new relationship, so he'll wait for me, supporting me as a friend, nothing more. now, instead of feeling irritated, i felt touched. i am very touched by his selflessness. we went out alot, mostly thanks to our families meetings, and after several months of getting to know each other, and also considering how our relationship might affect our families, we got together on 9th September 2006. since then, life was pure bliss. he is so mature, i feel very secure...and loved..
well, its been coming to 4months now, and things are still great, if not better. this year i learnt that i have to slowly let go off old friendships as i form new ones. i cannot keep expecting the same bond with my old school friends. i also cannot expect BB members to continue treating me warmly when i do not share the same level of commitment as them anymore. i've learnt that i need to accept myself and improve my self confidence. i also realised that i am a strong person. yes i might fall and cry when trouble comes, but after that i stand up being stronger than before. i've learnt that everyone has a perception of The Ideal Family, but almost noone actually has one in reality. every family has its own problems, so i shouldnt lose all hope when mine isnt as perfect as i wished to be. i just need to learn to live with it...
my new year resolutions:
2006 started off with me officially being a psychology student. FINALLY i am studying the course i've been dreaming of since i was 15. so glad the pathway i've planned for myself came true. so happy i've overcame all the obstacles i.e. dad's objection towards this field, dad's doubt of me staying interested in this field for long, dad's hesitation in me paying thousands of ringgit to study Foundation in a private institute instead of studying Form 6. i guess mostly i have to give myself a pat on my back for sticking true to my interest and working hard to get my way. if i hadnt work my ass off during SPM Trials, i wouldnt have gotten a forecasted straight A1's, then i wouldnt have gotten full scholarship to study Foundation. luckily i was also in UBS, which allowed me to be in good terms with school counselor, who frequently update me on scholarship opportunities. well, everything fell into place, and im finally a first-year degree, Psychology student! ^_^
this year started off with me forming new friendships with my young neighbors. i remember twice a week i would go for CNY dance practice at night. quite frequently i would go over to Steph's house to have girlie chitchat, together with Shaz and Danie. gradually Steph got too busy, and i felt uncomfortable hanging out with Shaz, Danie and Nadia, so i also distant myself. however, my family, the Poon's and the Ooi's gotten close. EV and I were sms-ing very frequently. to me, i feel glad i could connect with my neighbors. but someone found it to be a threat. this year many fights erupted, simply because he couldnt accept the fact that i enjoy socializing with such great neighbors.
in February, Prab's bro got married. i had the chance to dress up in sari! then in march, few days before my birthday, Praba left to study medicine in India. damn sad as i send her off in the airport...she is one friend i've always looked for whenever i need wise advices, and she's the first to leave me. classes went on...psychology subjects were VERY INTERESTING! but alot of hard work and constant reading too. i felt that every single day was very satisfying...studying interesting subjects on weekdays, slotting in to meet old school friends on occasional weekends, and having familes dinners (i.e. the 3 LM families) on weekends.
first semester ended, and i went to Pulau Kapas with neighbors. someone totally spoilt my mood during the vacation, but it was also during that trip that made me make up my mind. i finally overcame my confusion, and finally see through that its not worth it to change my personality and drop my interests just because someone often feel insecure with my passion for socializing. i cried myself to sleep on the first night, but i also made up my mind, and the next 2days, i never felt any freer as i totally pushed him out of my mind and imagine life as an unattached girl. man...the feeling was G-R-E-A-T! i never realised how suffocated i had felt til i experience the other side of life.
when i came back, i was quite mentally set to end things. but we still try to patch things up. hell i actually tried smoking too, just to accept this smoking habit. yep, that was how much i was willing to change myself then. most people know how much i despise smokers. i almost turned into one ok...but no...the most i smoked was 3 sticks. that's all in my entire 19 years of life. but well, in June, everything was over. those few weeks was a living hell. i cried to sleep almost every night, i had no appetite to eat, and listening to any songs on the radio can make me sing along one minute, then crying the very next second. i only love the times i had in college. kel and nat tried to keep me occupied. we would go to Old Town Kopitiam for breakfast, they trying to advice me. we hang out so often that over a crisis, we formed a very strong sisterhood bond. when im home, i had EV to support me. on weekends, he would take me out to keep my mind off things...going SPCA, watch movie, shopping, etc. he would always pop little cards and presents in my mailbox in the mornings before driving to work.
but i began to feel uneasy with the way EV was treating me. he was being TOO NICE it felt pushy. everyone said he obviously liked me, but i refuse to believe it til i hear it from his mouth. i kept denying it, so i felt annoyed that he tried too hard to please me. but overtime, i understood that he just wants me to be happy. he also knows that i am not in any situation jump into a new relationship, so he'll wait for me, supporting me as a friend, nothing more. now, instead of feeling irritated, i felt touched. i am very touched by his selflessness. we went out alot, mostly thanks to our families meetings, and after several months of getting to know each other, and also considering how our relationship might affect our families, we got together on 9th September 2006. since then, life was pure bliss. he is so mature, i feel very secure...and loved..
well, its been coming to 4months now, and things are still great, if not better. this year i learnt that i have to slowly let go off old friendships as i form new ones. i cannot keep expecting the same bond with my old school friends. i also cannot expect BB members to continue treating me warmly when i do not share the same level of commitment as them anymore. i've learnt that i need to accept myself and improve my self confidence. i also realised that i am a strong person. yes i might fall and cry when trouble comes, but after that i stand up being stronger than before. i've learnt that everyone has a perception of The Ideal Family, but almost noone actually has one in reality. every family has its own problems, so i shouldnt lose all hope when mine isnt as perfect as i wished to be. i just need to learn to live with it...
my new year resolutions:
- Stop being bugged by my conscience. Believe that I have done my best instead of thinking I haven't been good enough
- Focus on stress management. Stop losing patience and getting irritated whenever exams or assignments are piling up.
- Shall not make anymore resolutions...this is the first time i'm making one. i really dont want next year's resolution to be "i resolve to keep to my past year resolutions"
well, i believe i've grown up alot this year, but there's still alot to learn. sometimes i feel really immature and childish because i had always believed the search for identity and need for acceptance only occurs to young teenagers. i discovered it wasnt the age that matters...it is how confident you are in yourself that counts. well, HAPPY NEW YEAR 2007 TO EVERYONE! i dont know what's in store for me, but im sure excited to grow up! ^o^
No comments:
Post a Comment