desperate for human contact

boy, its been a very isolating and lonely 6weeks....

i havent have time to catch up with frens ever since i started working. feeling so cut off from the world. the only person i've been keeping in close contact is Dear. but besides him, noone else.

it really sucks, thinking of the amount of spoken words i uttered in office. thats like 10 hrs of my day. and then, looking at the amount of words uttered at home, suddenly i think i can be mute and noone would notice

i really wonder am i supposed to be born into this family? am i really related by blood to these people? how come they dun find the need to talk and communicate, while i feel depress not communicating?

but well, all these no talking is good for me now. i've finally fall sick, delayed effect of work stress. ok, not stress, but lack of rest. i've got cough and sorethroat, which makes not talking a plus point towards recovery.

i told Ai Ling during lunch today, i dunno if its good or bad to fall sick at this time. for one, i wont need to take MC, as sick leave is considered unpaid leave, for a poor intern like me. but then again, im falling sick only when class is about to start...thats when i would be 10 times more active than my current lifestyle, and needing more energy than ever. so, is being sick at the end of internship, the beginning of class, a good thing?

well, whatever it is, i am taking full force prevention as soon as i detected a series of cough. conventional Danzen and Mucoslovan pills, traditional Pei Pa Kou and Ho Yan Ho, gurgle salt water, avoid fried and spicy food, i've taken ALL of them. the symptoms of serious illness is always the same for me, i can predict its entire course already. start with slight irritation of the throat. then progress to more inflamed throat, phlegm, cough. then nose starts running, and fever and headache as climax peak point.

yep, u can considered that i've slight phobia of any throat irritation, and im probably overdoing it in treating small problem, but i aint taking the risk

just 3 more days, and life would be back to normal. i just need to hold myself together, focus at the better days, and keep my chin up, keep my illness down, keep my emo-ness minimumly low too

=)