Dilemma over

yeah, confusion has ended. i have declined my nomination

for a moment that nomination got my head soaring high above the clouds. so high up that it got me all blinded by the reality i stand upon. i miss feeling powerful and important. i miss being recognized by people i don't know. i miss working closely with teachers to organize events and activities. i miss feeling proud that i was trusted to do work. most of all, i miss the sense of satisfaction knowing that i have the capability to do other things besides studying...

i had experienced all those in secondary school days, where i held president and vice president posts, where i organized activities for a huge group of people, where i was actually elected to be leader. i just love extra curricular activities in school...

now i thought i was given the chance to repeat my days of glory. i thought i could get actively involved in non-academic activities again. but i was torn...there are more consequences to take into considerations now that im a final year student. i was contemplating so hard and long i felt so stressed up. it would be fun to experience campaigning. it would be great if i can be part of the student council to organize events. it would be good learning experience to compare leading in uni than leading in school. however, i have a very important thesis project in my hand. i only have this year to decide if the roll of certificate i hold next year prints First Class or Second Upper Honors. i am already tutoring several students on their projects and revisions. my biggest worry is...will i be able to cope with the stress of overload work?

well, to end all these misery, i decided to just declined the nomination, and totally stop thinking about the possibility of a more exciting future. and it worked. i am able to assume as if such conflict never occurred in me at all. i strongly believe my over reaction was the work of hormones at this time of the month *grrrr*

oh yeah, the story of my CNY...the same ritual for the past 20 years. i went back Taiping on CNY eve. had reunion lunch at mom's side, and reunion dinner at dad's side. when we were kids my cousins and i would be lighting fireworks after reunion dinner. but now that we're grown up, the toys we play are bigger and more expensive. lol. my cousin bought his very first car, so he drove us to the new Tesco. seriously, for those pure city folk, you would be surprised how popular Tesco was since its grand opening. Taiping is a very small town, and bout 80% are retirees (i think). there are rows and rows of shophouses with businesses passed down by generations. there used to be a cinema but it has closed down. it has a few small malls, so when Tesco and Giant opened their branches end of last year, these two hypermarkets were FAMOUS! so we also joined the crowd, and i bought this!!!

kekeke it was damn fun to bang this thing around, dun u think? its been so long since i've seen this toy!!! it sure brought out the kid in me again! ^o^

1st day of new year we visited my dad's oldest sister. 2nd day we visited mom's side granduncle and grandma's house. 3rd day we packed and came home. kekeke nothing really special. only my sound hammer makes this new year diff from others!!! *yes!!!*

oh today is 7th day of CNY. supposed to be everybody's birthday, as chinese believe God created human on the 7th day. so, Happy Birthday everyone!!!