welcome to corporate world

hey there,

sorry for the lack of posts. havent had enough time to rest, what more blog. im having a taste of working life now, and i am dreading every end of weekend, every start of the week. i like my office, i like the location, i like my cubicle, i like the scenery from the 33rd floor, overlooking a huge part of KL, i like watching the clouds roll in, all huge and heavy and dark, then watch as other areas began pouring before the rain hit my building.

i like my kind boss, i like the free-flow Nestle hot drink machine, i like the many food stalls right outside the building, i like being 5mins walking distance to The Weld, and 5mins monorail ride to Bkt Bintang Area, and in a way, i like the open, high-trust culture in my office.

but now let me tell u what i dislike bout working. i cant stand sitting at the same place from morning til evening, with only one hour lunch break. i dun like freezing myself til my nails turn blue although im wearing sweater. i dun like feeling inferior and lost as ppl buzz around me. i dun like feeling lonely when lunch time comes around, half wishing someone would invite me for lunch, yet half hoping i dun have to join them, then watch them talk among themselves without looking twice at me. i dun like how i lost all my self confidence when meeting these new people. most of all, i just dun like sitting there and feeling all zombified, doing something im not passionate about, and have almost zero human contact the entire day...

yes its stupid of me to think that the girls are gossiping bout me everytime i see them whisper and giggle. its naive of me to think that they can joke and laugh and play around while maintaining efficiency. its insanely crazy to think that i might be able to bring in some bubbliness in this stresssed up place. its all about work here...these people are trying to earn a living, they're not college students having the chance and the time to play around, and im a college student having a culture shock in a workplace

well, things aint all that gloomy as i spoke off. sometimes i do feel the spurt of energy to focus on my research work, brain processing so fast all the info seem to click and link automatically. but my efficiency level doesnt last from 8am til 6pm. almost daily i do feel saturated and wishing i was back in college...

whatever it is, above all these complains, i know i am having a great experience i would treasure on later in life. i know im benefitting from this early working exposure. its also making me think hard bout which field in psychology im really interested in.

the more i work in the corporate world, the more i crave for social work and charitable volunteering. i miss World Vision and Katsu Centre even more. helping people feels a million times more satisfying than doing research and writing reports. i think my energy and effort is better off spent on helpless people than helping the rich get richer. but god, im in desperate need to balance passion and reality! how can i earn a living by doing charity full time? how fair is it that my parents paid so much for me to earn a degree, only to end up watching me live a minimum wage kinda life?

just two and a half weeks of working has got me thinking ALOT. made me reevaluate life from a different perspective. lets see what i would say at the end of this internship period ok? =)

goodnight!