Parenting 101

im reading this book called Intrusive Parenting...

and it says that there are 2 forms of control which parents exert on their children. the most obvious ones are behavioural control, such as rewarding good results, giving praises, hitting and caning as disciplinary methods, etc.

another form of control which even parents themselves dont realise that they're using is psychological control. parents affect the way their children think of themselves til they cannot successfully form their own identity, their sense of self, their individuality

and why do parents use these forms of control? although it is widely spread that all parents control their children because they love their children, and want to make sure their children grow up as a useful person, there are actually parents who control their children for the sake of maintaining their power position. they want their children to keep in mind that their role as parents are always a superior position, and controlling is a way to drill that fear of exceeding such superiority to their children. is there any form of parental love behind these actions? i wonder too...

as a child who is turning 21 soon, its about time i am able to distinguish myself from my parents. my own individuality. of cos it is a process which i had been working on for years, ever since the teenage search for identity. but my process seems to take longer than others, cos the more i struggle the more tightening of control i receive in return...

how i wish all parents are compulsory to receive Parenting 101 course before delivering their first child. from a QUALIFIED PSYCHOLOGISTS too. that perhaps would make all children growing up in the most condusive home environment ever. no child would ever face the dilemma of hating their parents yet facing guilt at the same time