bedridden!

omg...i didnt do anything except eat and sleep since yesterday. supposed to go for Jerry Yan's press conference but i was too sick to go! initially i wanted to go regardless of the headache and fever i was feeling, but then mommy was sick too. her eyes were hurting, so she took mc to go check-up. as soon as i know she intended to drive alone, immediately i called Silvia and told her i have to pull-out last minute. how can i let my mom drive on her own when one eye wasnt in perfect condition? i felt slightly feverish, but when i check with thermometer, my fever was 38degrees. maybe i was too weak, or being sick had impaired my ability to estimate distance, but i broke my thermometer! was swinging the thermometer to get the mercury back to zero when suddenly..WHACK! PIANG! oops! had shattered glass all over my t-shirt and shorts. also some on the dining table and floor. i had whacked it against the edge of my dining table. first thing i did was looked for the mercury. immediately i remembered the torture i went through during Form 3 when i broke the science lab thermometer. it was hard work chasing those many balls of mercury rolling on the floor. and the more i tried to sweep them up, each ball divided into even more smaller balls! and i have to be very careful that i dont touch them with my bare hand or i'll get poisoned. in school, the lab assistance came and poured sulphure over it, then cleaned up for me. but yesterday, it was only me and mommy. 2 sick person. we didnt find any mercury, so assume it was still somewhere inside the tube. phew!

we went to Hospital Mata Tun Hussein Onn, and that was one torturous wait. there were so many people, so long queue, and i was getting weaker and weaker. in the end, i went to sleep in the car. one moment i was freezing, next moment i was sweating like a pig. mom was finally done after 3hrs. luckily it wasnt anything serious. mom thought she scratched her cornea with her lenses, but doc said it was just dry eyes. told her to constantly apply eye-drop. first i accompanied mom to hospital, so next she brought me to clinic. doc said i caught a cold. i left it untreated for several days so now i've got inflamed throat and fever too. ah...nothing some medicine, antibiotic and lots of rest cant cure.

today i didnt attend Management class, but woke up early to have breakfast with Darling. my head was still pounding, so took medicine and went back to sleep til 1pm. i wanted to get dressed and go to college. today is the last lecture for PSY102...and i wanna ask bout exam format. but something happened which prevented me from going... i dunno if that's a sign that i have more bad luck to come, or a sign that says i shouldnt go college in the first place. guess what? i got locked up in my own house! yes, my autogate wouldnt open! was standing in front of it, under the bright hot sun for several mins, clicking and clicking my remote. then i went inside and tried to open from the house. still wouldnt budge. standing in the sun got me dizzy, so thats it. forget it. you win, you unloyal autogate! u've managed to keep me prisoner, are u happy now? *clench fist* watch out...tonight we'll pry you open!

anyway, let me decidate this small little paragraph to my new-found enemy (never knew i had one. lol)

Dear Chixy,
so you think im immature by hating Ivan after being together for 2yrs. boy, you made it sound as if i changed feelings overnight. haha, i wish feelings were that simple my dear Chixy, then i wouldnt be in a state of confusion and depressed for several months. but who would truly understand what i went thru except myself? its easy for outsiders to judge the relationship of others. people who heard stories from his side will defnitely defend him and dislike me. similarly, my friends who supported me through my sorrow will be on my side and not defend Ivan. all i said was that im still angry at him for the way he treated me. you and him might not understand in which way he had hurt me, but i feel the pain, and i dont wanna live the rest of my life in that condition. so i made my decision. i want out. some people might think he wasnt wrong to treat me the way he did, some might say i've been too patient to bear with him for so long. noone is right or wrong. its just my life, my decision. i dont have to explain my life further to you. you can call me names (though its damn zhar dou being called a bitch in my own blog) but i think i've entertained you enough. so whoever you are, Chixy, i am glad Ivan has someone like you on his side. im sure he's touched that someone is so defensive on his behalf. i am not being sarcastic here. despite my anger, i wont deny that he has his good points, so continue being supportive of him ok?

ok, i gotta make full use of my time at home. im done reading PSY102, so next! moving on to Management!
-sel-