SUNDAY 12th November 11.02pm

lolz...damn...my mood really showed in my previous post huh? to nat & kel --> aww....u girls are so concern! i think i have this innate dislike & impatience for IT >.< oh well, lemme recap what i wrote last night, as much as i can remember...

i felt horrible on friday night...dear was having problem at home but i felt useless. i couldnt do anything although im living so near. i couldnt give him what he needed most...A HUG. a hug to let him know he has my support. a hug to tell him when noone else care, i still do. a hug to share his unhappiness. i was waiting for news from him. i dare not call in case it wasnt convenient for him to talk. i sent several sms, spaced out within few hours so that i dont add pressure on him. i couldnt sleep, and i dare not sleep in case i sleep through his sms. i change my message tone to the loudest type so that even if i DO doze off, i will be awaken. By 2.30am, i couldnt take the uncertainty, so i called him. i was so relieve when he answered. even more relieved when i found out that i'd awaken him from his sleep. unlike the usual times, i felt glad to wake him from his sleep because it meant he wasnt too troubled or hurt to sleep. anyway, we talked for pretty long. im glad he was willing to share his feelings with me. im glad he knows im not one who will judge anyone negatively. even with a phone call i couldnt do much except to offer him a listening ear. but he did sound better after that. we slept at bout 3.30am, and woke up at 7am to go for doggie walking. i really didnt mind waking up so early just to see him before he leaves for genting. he had a farewell for his ex-uni mate, and although it was only one night, it reminds me of his Dubai trip. might sound pretty silly that he's only gonna be in genting for one weekend, but to me he feels so so far away!!!

so yes, we went for a walk....and although i felt so conscious as if all neighbors were spying on us, i gave dear a hug. in the middle of the road. at that moment i was too conscious to find it romantic. then i had to rush to WV for training. halfway thru training, dear messaged me and told me he did something i would be proud of. he managed to leave for genting with everyone feeling happy. darn...i really am so proud! that's another thing bout him which i love...although he has his own principles, he doesnt stubbornly hold on to them. and he prioritize family unity more than any other guys i know. sigh...such a relief...he can now really have a good time with his friends. i wish i could go with him, i wish i didnt have to turn down his invitation, i wish i was staying on my own so that i can make my own decision, but reality is, i have to obey my parents. not like i actually asked for permission. there's no need to...i know the answer. and i really had to focus on my studies...

after WV i was supposed to meet nat n kel for girlie shopping. kel wanted to buy surf pants for her Sabah trip. i thought my training will end by 11.30am, so arranged to meet in The Curve at 12pm. but my training prolonged til 12.30pm. i rushed there as soon as i could, but halfway jamming on LDP, ervin called n asked to send him home. noone else was free to fetch him, and i couldnt bear to make him wait another few hours nor make him take a cab home, so i canceled with my babez, made a u-turn to pick him. luckily raymond n jon sern could last min go, so i didnt ditch the 2 girls all alone. felt a lil less guilty. and actually i was quite glad to go home. i really wasnt in a mood to hang out. just felt like crawling under my comforter and sleep til sunday evening when dear comes back. actually i did just that. took a long satisfying nap, hugging Huey n Camry, thinking bout darling til i fell asleep. mom woke me up at 7pm and said we're going for dinner. what a weird dinner. lemme tell u why.

1) we have no idea where the exact location of restaurant
2) we dunno what kinda food we're eating
3) we dunno if it's a fancy diner, coffeeshop or road side stall, so dunno what kinda dress code
4) my family eating with aunty joice & uncle roger
5) im having dinner with my bf's parents...WITHOUT my bf...

ok what do we know bou this place then? dad's friend sms him saying there's this place in Puching served by Taiping person which is damn good. thats it. in the end we managed to find it. the restaurant name says it all..."Restaurant Taiping Lang" its in hokkien, literally translated meaning "Orang Taiping" =.=' The food was good, but not worth the price cos its pricey considering the fact that we're eating homecook typical "chap fan" dishes. but its worth it to try out for experience. the setting was really good. i can see it brought back lots of childhood memories to my parents. it was decorated to look like an old-fashioned Taiping house, which got my parents telling lots of old stories. dad especially. he was boasting so much bout Taiping food n kept saying nothing beats his mom's cooking. all the dishes we ordered was typical Taiping (or Hokkien) dish which his mom always prepare for him last time. part of me pitied aunt joice n uncle roger for having to patiently listen to him brag, but another part of me felt so touch seeing dad loving n missing his late mom so much...

anyway, when we came back i quickly called darling. he was high!!! hmmm...can be considered drunk! lol with the way he talked...brings back lots of sweet memories of the times we both went high together. merdeka day...a famosa...the recent hari raya...tipsy nights. this time, im very sober! and im glad i didnt go...i can listen to him while thinking logically...and remembering every detail of our conversation...

anyway, now he's back! our families met for dinner just now...so i got to meet him! thought i wouldnt be able to see him til tues...but yay!!! although we had to restrain ourselves very much, we met...and that was enough...

ok i think i spent too much time blogging bout my darling as this is my third time expressing myself. lol. oh yeah, my singapore trip has been canceled. sigh...no international holiday, no singapore xmas mood. but well, now we're changing place to Penang instead! im excited again!!! although i've been there (and lived there last time) im still excited! woohoo!!! please...please let this trip be a success...

-sel-