have u ever?

do you know how it feels...

to be flying, soaring up high in the sky, being given the support to pursue what u want, having the freedom and choice to make your own decisions, and then able to share your pride in making the right decisions with ppl you care about. u felt blissful...all the people u care for are living harmoniously with each other. not in total perfection like in fairytales, but with sufficient give and take, just nice, moderate and satisfying.

u feel like your life is finally in order. u have your future nicely planned out, and you're more than contented with your balanced life. u felt that u've managed to balanced work and play, and the reduced pressure in working hard enabled u to look at the world in a totally different light.

u dun have to secretly go out to play, and filled with guilt and worry everytime u laugh aloud among your friends. u dun have to keep thinking that your time SHOULD be spent at work. u used to feel that way, but finally, u think that FINALLY u're being trusted enough...

then suddenly, when u were flying so happily up in the sky, just one fire of the gun shot u straight down to the ground. u're not fatally hurt...no no...just injured on your wings. you cant no longer fly, but u can still survive. u can still walk, u can still eat, but u're not dead...

overnight, u have to change all your perceptions towards life. you taught u were mature enough to decide on your life, and you think that you had a set of personal principles u could live with. suddenly u question every single part of your life. who can u really trust? who are u, really? have u been wrong all these while? have u feeling a fake sense of pride and satisfaction all along? just overnight...everything that defined you changed to the total opposite

now, u feel all alone. noone can understand exactly how u feel. ppl might look at you and think u're just over-reacting. in fact, sometimes u wake up and laugh yourself silly for making such a big fuss. but how u look at the world already changed drastically...and you have no idea why. u kept telling yourself, its no big deal, nothing THAT drastic actually changed. but as people around u continue to move on as if nothing happened, u couldnt move on. u couldnt help the thousands of questions flying through your head. u couldnt feel the same happiness anymore...

have u ever felt this way?