half a year has gone

its 1st june already...wow...

soon darling and i will be celebrating our 9th month anniversary. it doesnt feel like we've been a couple that long, time really flew by when im feeling all blissful and lucky...

but when i think back bout the things we've been thru together, things we've done, it goes back a long way, back to August 2005. and from then on, just thinking about how our relationship progressed always got me smiling

it seemed like within a very short period of time, we got so close so fast. it would never occur to me then that we'll end up being lovers. it never occur to me that i would be so attached to him

sometimes i wonder, was i two-timing at that time? was i allowing myself to fall for someone else when i was in a relationship? i was trying to justify accusations then, and i am very clear to myself too, that all i wanted was pure friendship with eu veng

and i was so glad we went through friendship, to close, trusting friendship, and to reach the level we are today. i always believe that two person should never get together simply base on initial liking

u know, im 20 already. ppl my age 30 yrs ago would be assuming adult responsibles already. and me? still easily knocked down by words of others. im definitely still stuck in ignorance and gullibility, bcos my life still evolve around studying, like how it was 16 yrs ago. yes, i was obsess with being top in the class since pre-school (i wish i hadnt, but lets not go there now)

im still sheltered from "The Big Bad World" out there, im still very much worried only about my immediate surrounding. today kinda discussed with my next door neighbor Jeff and Darling bout studying life vs working life while jogging. as of now, definitely i cant wait for working life. but thats bcos i associate it with freedom from parents' hold. of cos, i've heard that there are many more worries when u start working, but to me, those talk comes in and out. it makes no impact on me. yet.

well, if i put some thoughts into it, i should really stop complaining bout my current life. so what if im stuck under parents' control? at least they're paying for education, food, accomodation, car, petrol, everything! all i've gotta worry is...can i go out and play?

if im going around the bush, well, all i wanna say is, im grateful for all that i have now. and i've gotta start making decisions for my self, instead of pleasing others. god, im 20! there are people my age who are already mothers or earning big bucks... =.="